


Drain You

by Superfast_Jellybitch



Category: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
Genre: Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Insomnia, Jealousy, Look they both deserve better ok?, M/M, Past Abuse, Touch-Starved
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:47:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26843128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Superfast_Jellybitch/pseuds/Superfast_Jellybitch
Summary: Guillermo has one day off a week now, and he would love to spend it catching up on sleep, but it's almost like he doesn't remember how to do that anymore. After the 3rd week in a row of staring up at the ceiling for hours, he finds a solution.
Relationships: (implied at least), (past), Colin Robinson/Evie Russell, Guillermo de la Cruz/Colin Robinson, Guillermo de la Cruz/Nandor the Relentless
Comments: 37
Kudos: 79





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is no relation to "Heart of the Insomniac" by rosewell893, I've had this one in my drafts for months now, but y'all should ABSOLUTELY read that one if you like this. I'll link it in the second round of notes.

Guillermo just wants to _sleep._ It's all he's wanted since he started spending his days cleaning and his nights babysitting the world's oldest toddler, and now he finally, _finally_ had the time for it. But like some cruel joke, he's wide awake, staring at the ceiling for the third week in a row. He rolls over in his cot, looking at the glaring red numbers of his alarm clock that mocked him. 3 pm. He only had a few more hours before sundown, when Nandor would wake and inevitably forget that Guillermo had the day off, all while yelling at Laszlo and Nadja for doing the exact same thing. Listening to that din was almost as draining as a conversation with Colin Robinson.

Wait.

Guillermo sits straight up in bed. That was it. Colin Robinson. Surely human insomnia wouldn't stand a chance against having all the energy supernaturally drained from his body. Besides, it was a Saturday, which meant no 9-to-5 office work, which meant one very hungry energy vampire. It might not be the most restful sleep he's ever gotten, given the circumstances, but at least he'd be _getting_ sleep. Decidedly, Guillermo snatches his new pillow off of the bed and heads down to the basement, determined to get some sleep no matter what the cost.

\--------------------------

The knock on his door startles Colin Robinson out of his current internet battle. No one ever knocks on his door. Not even the documentary crew. This made whoever was on the other side of the door _infinitely_ more interesting than his quick snack. He slams the laptop shut and moves to answer the door with alarming speed. To his surprise, Nandor's familiar is standing in his doorway, clutching a pillow to his chest and looking even more tired than usual. He admits that he was a little disappointed it wasn't one of his roomies finally coming down to visit him, but now that he was thinking about it, it was still too early for them. Still, he couldn't be too picky when it came to someone willingly spending any stretch of time with him.

"Well hey there, Guillermo! What brings you down to my neck of the woods?" He asked, the words barely escaping his lips before Guillermo is speaking, voice sharp with exhaustion and frustration.

"Drain me."

Colin Robinson blinks, looking down at him with surprise and fascination. No one had ever _asked_ him to drain them before. It was turning into an afternoon of firsts, and he had to take a moment to fully process what was going on. He wasn't sure he trusted this, wasn't sure what Nandor would do if he found out that he was feeding on his familiar, wasn't sure what he would even _do_ with a willing victim. But the longer he stood there buffering like an internet explorer window, the more deliciously frustrated the familiar grew. He could almost drool.

"Yeah, okay. Come on in." He said with just a little too much excitement.

\--------------------------

Moments later, Guillermo is sitting up against the wall in Colin Robinson's bed, still clutching his new pillow as he listened to the energy vampire drone on about what he'd done with his weekend thus far. He's barely begun, but already Guillermo could feel his eyes beginning to glaze over, the energy being sapped from him with every meaningless word. Colin Robinson sits on the edge of the bed, an almost excited grin across his face as he folded his hands neatly in his lap.

"I've never had guests over. Do you like the human food painting?"

"It's a nice painting, I guess."

"I got it from a Holiday Inn. It was surprisingly easy to steal. I just walked out with it. No questions asked. Hilarious, right?"

Guillermo nodded sleepily, trying to feign interest as he listened. It reminded him of when he used to listen to NPR to fall asleep. Middle aged men droning on and on about things only they found interesting. It wouldn't have surprised him if there were more than a few Energy vampires who work with the National Public Radio. He let his eyes fall shut, barely registering Colin Robinson shifting to sit beside him, back against the wall, gesturing lazily as he spoke.

"I thought it would make the room a little cozier, you know? For humans. Not that I bring a lot of humans over. But you're here now so, obviously it wasn't a total waste of a hotel stay." He chuckled, prompting him to do the same, but Guillermo was too exhausted.

"Feeling sleepy yet? Insomnia is actually a very fascinating phenomenon. It's one of the most common sleep disorders, but it can also be a symptom of a larger problem. Have you been to a doctor yet? That was a trick question, I know that Nandor keeps you too busy to do things like prioritize your health. Humans are so fragile, I'd be worried constantly if I were in your shoes-"

Colin Robinson has stopped waiting for Guillermo to respond to his idle chatter now, eyes glowing blue as he fed from the constant stream of boredom from the young man. The last thing that he could remember before losing consciousness was Colin beginning to complain about their roommates.

\--------------------------

Twelve minutes. It had taken him twelve minutes to do what had Guillermo had been failing at for 3 weeks. The familiar collapsed just as he'd begun to complain about how truly frustrating it was to live with their roommates for the last 100 years or so, head falling against Colin Robinson's shoulder. The energy vampire stiffens, the lovely meal he'd been enjoying moments ago having been so rudely interrupted. He grimaced, nonexistent fangs bared as he glanced down at the space where dark curls stood out against the beige of his cardigan. This wasn't what he'd had in mind at all.

Colin Robinson goes to remove Guillermo's unconscious body from his own, shimmying his way out from under Guillermo's head. Unfortunately, this just sends him sprawling across Colin's lap. He hisses in frustration, attempting to shove the limp familiar off of his person to no avail. Why did Nandor have to pick such a heavy human to be his familiar? With a sigh, he gives in to his predicament, realizing that there is no way he's moving a dead-weight Guillermo and pulling a second laptop from the bedside table. He props it up on Guillermo's shoulder, listening to the man snore as he picked up where he'd left off in his trolling.

He's about 4 arguments deep when he realizes that he's running his fingers through Guillermo's hair absentmindedly, petting the human like he would a contented housecat. Colin Robinson grimaces again, a nauseating mixture of revulsion and tenderness washing over him, making his head spin. He can't be snuggling with a human, let alone with _Nandor's_ familiar while he was sleeping. But then again...when was the last time he'd been touched like this? When was the last time anyone had _allowed_ him to be so close to them? Back when he was seeing Evie Russel, he supposed, but that was different. He'd never been able to get this close to Evie Russel without her using his feelings for her to drain him.

He shudders at the memory, tucking it back in a distant filing cabinet in his mind where he didn't have to look at it too often. Colin Robinson moves his hand back into Guillermo's hair, carding his fingers through the soft curls with intent, now; the initial horror and shame fading away, replaced with a new sort of hunger that he wasted no time in feeding. Besides, what was there to feel guilty for? Guillermo had come to _him_ for help, had sat on _his_ bed, and fallen asleep on _his_ lap. He could play with the kid's hair a little while he fed off of the brain dead chattel of the internet until Facebook suspended his account again.

\--------------------------

When Guillermo finally wakes, the sun has long since dipped below the horizon line. He doesn't know when the last time he got that much sleep was, but he feels like a new man. He goes to stretch, and knocks something off of himself, a hand quickly clasping itself around his wrist. Where the hell is he? His eyes snap open in a panic, free hand instinctively searching for a stake as his brain struggles to catch up with the situation. As his eyes focus, he realizes that he's in Colin Robinson's bedroom, laying across the guy's lap, with his fist stopped a mere inch from his face. He feels himself growing red in the face.

"Morning, sleeping beauty. When you're out, you're _really_ out, huh?" He chuckles down at him like Guillermo hadn't just woken up in his lap and almost punched him in the face.

"I'm sorry." He blurts out, sitting bolt upright and putting as much distance between them as they can.

"S'all good." Colin Robinson shrugs, retrieving the laptop from where it had been flung onto the bed. "You make a good table. Maybe try to fall the other way next time, though. You're really fucking heavy."

"I'm sorry..." he says, voice even quieter.

Suddenly it's as though those are the only words he knows, shame and embarrassment taking over and deleting the rest of his vocabulary. He scrambles out of the bed, straightening his hair and clothes as best he can, whispering apologies as he went, trying to get out as fast as he could. He feels a hand on his shoulder and he jumps.

"Dude. It's fine." Colin Robinson says in a level but serious tone. "You okay?"

He nods, taking a deep breath and trying to calm himself.

"I mean you're always jumpy, but c'mon. I'm not gonna _hurt_ you." He chuckles hollowly.

Guillermo awkwardly echoes it, wanting more than anything to begin the walk of shame back to his closet. Somehow, he still feels like a fly caught in a web, though, inching towards the door as the beige spider closes in on him. Maybe it's just the fact that he's seen what Colin Robinson is capable of at full power, maybe it's ten years of conditioned subservience, maybe it's just the embarrassment of having cuddled with someone he'd never intended to cuddle, but whatever it is has him reaching for the doorknob behind him and turning it.

"Alright, well, enjoy the rest of your day off. You don't really have much time left now." The insincere sounding warmth has left Colin Robinson's tone now, his voice trained to a careful monotone. "Take care."

Guillermo takes the out, muttering another apology as he goes. Once in the hallway, he can breathe a little easier, and he feels guilt begin to replace the shame. That was kind of an asshole move, wasn't it? He starts to turn around, when he's stopped by the echoes of a familiar, booming voice calling his name.

"Coming, Master."

\--------------------------

Guillermo manages to brush off his embarrassment by the time his sleepless days of servitude add up to another day off. Nandor had been much more lenient with him as of late. Between finding out about his vampire hunter tendencies and leaving him for Celeste, something had finally given within his master. On two separate occasions, he's asked if Guillermo is getting enough sleep, and only once in an insulting manner. It was progress, but it was slow, and to tell the truth, Guillermo was more tired emotionally than he was physically at this point (Though he'd about kill someone for a little sleep, too.) It was exhausting to try and keep up with Nandor's demands, with only scattered praise and an empty promise as his salary.

Guillermo sighs, rolling over on his cot. He knows he probably shouldn't go back down to the basement considering how out of line that had gotten last time, and yet, his legs swing over the edge of the cot all the same, carrying his tired body down the stairs into the musty basement. His knuckles barely rap at the door before its opened- almost as though he was expected. It was almost startling.

"Hey there, Guillermo. Old insomnia giving you trouble again?" Colin asks, a little bounce in his step.

He definitely seemed too eager about this, but Guillermo brushes it off as hunger. Guillermo figures that he'd be pretty excited too if after a day of only getting a few snacks, he was promised a full meal. Unwilling to explain himself any further, since Colin had read him like an open book, Guillermo just nods. Colin ushers him in without hesitation, closing the door behind them while Guillermo flopped face-first onto a real bed for the first time in a week.

"...Did you get a second pillow?" Guillermo asks, face buried in it.

"Yeah. Figured I'd get a guest pillow just in case ya came back." Colin says plainly

Huh. Wow. It had taken Nandor 10 years and the threat of abandonment to get him a pillow of his own, and yet, Colin Robinson had gone out and gotten him one without even knowing whether he'd ever come around to use it. It was nice, too. Not too soft or too firm, and from the subtle pleasant aroma surrounding him, lavender scented. Guillermo didn't know how to feel about that. Maybe he'd figure it out by the time he wound up here again next week.

"Do you like the pillow?"

"Yeah. It's really nice" Guillermo responds, turning his head to rest more comfortably upon it. "is it _scented_?"

"I've taken an interest in aromatherapy lately. Lavender is supposed to make you sleepy. I figured it couldn't hurt. Do you know how infuriated people get when you start discussing the alleged medicinal properties of essential oils? I mean, most of it is definitely hooey designed to help hold up multilevel marketing schemes, but man do you humans have some strong opinions about them!"

He's having a hard time focusing on the words Colin Robinson is saying, and he's not sure if it's because he's being drained or because no one but his mother has ever shown him this much care. He'd only slept down here once, and yet the energy vampire sitting beside him had gone and purchased him his own pillow, going so far as to take his sleeping trouble into consideration. It's really pathetic that he's getting all wishy washy over a goddamned _pillow_ , and yet, he can't seem to stop the warm happy feeling that floods through him at the thought of being cared for and appreciated, even if it was just as a food source.

"-in herbalisim, which is _not_ hooey at all. Modern medicine draws upon and perfects what ancient herbalists had been doing for years, it's all just plants. But where the argument against essential oils comes in is _concentration_. You see, essential oils are not like food grade baking extracts, they're a lot stronger-"

Colin Robinson keeps talking to him, and Guillermo closes his eyes. He isn't fully asleep yet when he feels a hand settle against the top of his head, fingers toying cautiously with his hair. Guillermo sighs, relaxing into the touch.

Yeah, it's weird. Really weird. But it's also nice, and he's so very, very tired. Guillermo dozes off just about the time Colin starts telling him about the anti-vax movement.

\-------------------------

Colin Robinson trails off, realizing that he's once again talking to a sleeping human. It took him a lot longer to succumb this time. Maybe he was developing a resistance to his methods? Nah. It takes years of constant draining for that. The only human he's ever seen successfully become un-drainable was Seamus from the shipyard back in 1900. And that was just because he finally went deaf.

Perhaps the insomnia was worsening? He'd been reading up on it since the first time Guillermo had come down here demanding to be bored into unconsciousness. The list of things that can cause disordered sleep in humans was long enough that it was beginning to bore _him_ , but if Colin Robinson had to hazard a guess, he'd say it was the stress.

Nandor was better to his familiars than Nadja or Laszlo, but that by no means meant he was _good_ to them. There was that guy in the 70s, for example, who he'd given the brain scramblies and left for dead at a truck stop in Delaware whenever he'd outlived his usefulness. The other guy, who had contracted cholera in 1850 and laid in that cot dead for 2 days before Nandor had noticed. That was a real mess. He didn't really have to imagine the stress being a vampire's familiar put upon a human, he could see it, smell it, even _taste_ it. That melancholy thread of despair laced with fragile, futile hope that dripped like water over a sugar cube into a metaphorical glass of absinthe. That'd cause a little insomnia for sure.

He's watched hundreds of human familiars go down this way over the centuries, but he's never really cared about it before. There's always been an unspoken barrier of professionalism and disdain between himself and The Familiars. None of them would've _ever_ thought to enter another vampire's domain to beg for help, and he kinda admired that cockiness in Guillermo. So, the pillow was a must. He couldn't just give up his Saturday dinners.

If he was really being honest with himself, he'd say that more than anything, it was because he was lonely. The high he got from feeling _wanted_ for a change, even if it was only as a sleep aid, was well worth the $15 he spent on the pillow Guillermo was currently cuddling into.

He smiles down at his little human friend, withdrawing his hand from his dark curls in order to pull the comforter over him, patting his shoulder affectionately before resuming his earlier task of sending off chain emails.

\-------------------------

"Guillermo, you smell good today."

The compliment takes him by surprise, and Guillermo finds his face reddening against his will. Nandor almost never has a kind word for him, but they're growing in frequency now. It still feels strange and out of place.

"Thank you, Master." He says, not looking up from the chalice he's polishing.

The compliment was startling in and of itself, but Guillermo almost jumped out of his skin when he felt Nandor lean into him and bury his nose into his hair. Guillermo feels goosebumps raise against the back of his neck and he shivers. A year ago, this might've excited him, but now it just feels like another empty promise. He turns, putting just a little more distance between them.

"Is that lavender? It's nice. Much better than that smelly body spray you normally use."

Okay, there's the insult. The familiarity in that floods him with relief. Nandor is still standing too close to him, still smelling him even, but he's slightly less perturbed. The ancient warlord had always been curious and blissfully unaware of boundaries. He wrinkles his nose, brows furrowing in confusion.

"Have you been hanging out with Colin Robinson?"

"Yeah?" There's no sense in lying about it. Not when Nandor can probably smell the energy vampire on him. "He's the only one around here who's awake during daylight hours."

Nandor steps back, putting a reasonable amount of distance between them at last. He looks...either disappointed or digusted. It's hard to tell sometimes. Either way it makes Guillermo feel...guilty for some reason.

"What, you don't have friends you can be hanging out with?" Nandor grimaces.

"No." Guillermo says in a flat tone of voice, trying not to betray his frustration. "With all due respect, sir, you haven't really given me the time to make new relationships or-or even maintain my old ones."

Nandor looks shocked, then, for a very brief moment, guilty, before stilling his features in a mask of apathy. God, Guillermo hates that face. The "conceal, don't feel" face that meant Nandor was about to say something incredibly stupid and/or hurtful. Guillermo braces himself, trying his very best not to roll his eyes.

"I do not _care_ if you are lonely, Guillermo! That is no excuse to run around _fraternizing_ with other vampires! It's very rude!" He snaps, arms crossed petulantly over his chest.

"Okay, so I'll just stop doing things for Nadja and Laszlo too, then, or...?"

If Nandor could go red with frustration, he would have. He stamps his foot in indignation, his hair fanning out with the effort of his outburst, fangs bared. Once upon a time, this temper tantrum might've intimidated him, but now Guillermo looks on him with the world-weary expression of a parent watching their toddler throw a fit on the floor of a supermarket candy aisle.

"You _know_ that is not what I _meant_!!" Nandor hisses.

"Yeah. I'm pretty sure I know. But until you say it- what you mean, I mean- I'm just guessing."

He waits patiently. Gives Nandor his moment to be open for once. Leaves the door open once more like the fool he is.

"You are a very bad, very disobedient, _very frustrating_ familiar!" Nandor growls.

"Yeah. And I _came back._ " Guillermo says forcefully.

The sentence hangs heavy in the air, the unspoken implications stopping Nandor in his tracks. Reminding him of the way he had begged Guillermo to come home to him. The way he'd begrudgingly let himself be vulnerable. The way he'd admitted to _needing_ him. It's a low blow, but Guillermo's sympathy and patience for this beautiful, pig-headed fool are fading.

"Right. Okay then. I'm gonna go finish patching your cape. If you ever figure it out, you know where to find me." Guillermo says definitively, turning and walking out of the crypt door.

He deliberately takes the job slowly, moving at a snail's pace, waiting for Nandor to come find him and take the opportunity he'd given him. But he doesn't. Guillermo finishes the cape in an hour, and there's none of the pride in his work he usually feels. Just frustration, and heartache, and a few angry tears he's done his best to avoid getting on the crushed velvet. He really should put his foot down one of these days. Stop naively giving Nandor chances to improve that he never takes. Anne Rice did make a point to say that Vampires are frozen in time, never improving on a personal level any more than they change on a physical one. But Guillermo was human, and he cared for these undead creatures he'd come to know over the years, and he couldn't stop from hoping that maybe one day he'd get them to care for him, too.

\-------------------------

When Colin Robinson arrives home from work, there's already a delicious miasma of angst in the air. He's so close to tracking down the source of the scent and taking their turmoil to the next level, when he catches another, much less appetizing scent. Sadness. _Human_ sadness.

He finds himself unconsciously moving towards Guillermo's little coat closet. He's not sure why, he's not really into the taste of sadness anymore. Or pity. Colin Robinson shudders as another memory of Evie Russel comes to him, and he quickly buries it down. Sure enough, he can hear the quietest of sniffles from behind the curtain. _Shit_ , the kid was _crying_. He stifles a grimace, pulling back the curtain gently.

"Knock knock." He says, ducking his head through the little opening he's created. "Can I come in?"

Guillermo scrambles to make himself presentable, wiping his face on his sleeve and jamming his glasses onto his face. He glares up at him with uncharacteristic malice, tears still shining in his eyes.

"Did you come here to feed off of my misery?" He says darkly, and good gravy does it sting.

"What? No. I'm not _that_ much of an asshole!" He jumps to his own defense, hands raised in submission. "Besides, I can't even stomach the stuff. Not since-"

He shudders bodily at the memory of his last taste of misery. Yeah, no, he was off the stuff for good.

"Nevermind." He brushes off his last statement "What the hell happened to you?"

"Nothing." Guillermo responds with much less vitrol. His eyes are cast to the floor in what can only be shame. Boy, that kid did seem to carry a lot of that, didn't he?

"So, Nandor then?"

"Why do you care?"

Colin Robinson stops a moment, blue buffering wheel all but appearing above his head. Why _does_ he care? Nandor's made many a familiar weep with frustration, and Colin Robinson has ignored many a crying human, so why _was_ Guillermo any different? He thinks back on the last two weeks, and the weird, pleasant feeling that being tolerated by the familar had given him, and comes up with:

"Because you're my friend?"

Guillermo looks up at him, eyes shining with tears and with surprise.

"I thought I was 'beneath' you guys." He says, just a touch of bitterness in his tone.

"You're beneath Nandor, Nadja, and Laszlo." Colin Robinson corrects. "Which, as far as I'm concerned, makes us pretty much equal under this roof. Only difference is I could drain them all to death if I _really_ wanted to, and your options for revenge are considerably more limited."

There's a small silence as Guillermo processes, then accepts this information, nodding quietly.

"Does it ever....get to you?" He asks in a tired voice.

"Sometimes. But I try not to think about it. I'm more of a 'let decades of transgressions bottle up until I physically can't take it anymore' kinda guy"

"Sounds healthy."

"Just not a big fan of confrontation." He said, before immediately correcting himself. "When it directly involves me, of course. It's much better to feed from the sidelines."

"Dude, you seriously need better coping mechanisms."

"Says the man crying in a broom closet over a ten year problem like Harry Potter."

Guillermo laughs at this. Just a small chuckle, really. Colin Robinson is not sure what he's said to earn such a reaction, but golly does it feel nice. It's so rare he gets any encouragement, that this small validation leaves him feeling almost giddy.

"Thank you, Colin Robinson." Guillermo says, still smiling.

"For what?"

"For being a good friend to me."

Oh? _Oh._ That was certainly something. Colin Robinson had called many people his friend over the years, both human and vampire, and for the most part, they'd begrudgingly tolerated it. But no one had _ever_ called _him_ a friend before. He didn't know he could feel so much.... so much what? What the hell _was_ he feeling?? He didn't know, he just knew that there was a lot of it. Too much.

"Yeah okay great talk anytime you take care now buhbye" He said, stringing words together in a messy patchwork of generic office farewells as he made his way out of the doorway as quickly as possible.

He clutches his chest as he goes, fingers curling into the overcoat he hadn't bothered to take off before checking on Guillermo. He hasn't been this overwhelmed in a while, and frankly it's very frightening.


	2. Chapter 2

Nandor doesn't compliment him again. There is no praise for Guillermo's handiwork or friendly games of chess. They finish out the week in solemn professional silence, and while Guillermo grows more frustrated with Nandor's unwillingness to talk, it is nice to not be subjected to any backhanded compliments or confusing gestures of kindness.

Truthfully, he wondered what things would've been like had Nandor treated him so passively from the start. Would he still have fallen in love with him? Would he ever have fallen out of love with him? Would he still have believed the empty promise of eternal life? He couldn't say. All he knew was that it was quiet now, and while a part of him longed to make things right between them, another, bigger part was enjoying the vacation.

This Saturday, he doesn't even entertain the idea of his cot. He just heads straight to the basement for his "bedtime story", knowing that he wouldn't be let down. Sure enough, he didn't even have to knock this time. Colin Robinson was waiting for him, bedroom door open, lavender pillow fluffed, and this week's addition; one very large scented candle. It made Guillermo feel better than he had all week.

"Welcome back." Colin says in his usual monotone.

"Thanks." He mutters timidly, glancing around the room. There was certainly an ambiance to it. "This is...a lot."

"Is it?" Colin Robinson cocked his head to the side in confusion. "I hadn't noticed. If you don't like it, I can turn the light on or something. No point in annoying you if the goal here is still to get you to sleep."

"No, no, it's fine!" Guillermo scrambled to amend his earlier statement. "I just don't want to be a burden, y'know?"

"Dude, I'm literally here to feed off of your boredom till you pass out from the exhaustion. You're like the pizza delivery guy in this situation. Consider all of this-" he gestures vaguely around the room. "-a tip."

"Okay."

He sprawls out on the bed, making himself comfortable for his weekly nap, and is surprised when for the first time since they'd started this thing, Colin Robinson chooses to sit in his office chair instead of beside him. Weird. Did he do something wrong? Maybe he'd accidentally punched the guy in his sleep again. Guillermo settles in just a little more uncomfortably.

An awkward silence stretches out between them, and Guillermo is now certain he's done something wrong. But what? Unsure of how to approach it, he breaks the silence the best way he knows how.

"So.....how was your day?"

Like a desktop computer being jolted out of sleep mode, Colin Robinson appears to remember how this routine is supposed to go. He immediately starts jabbering about his morning trip to Starbucks, and the rage he'd inspired within his poor barista there. It's working, but something is still wrong. Guillermo's eyes begin to slide closed against his will.

"Wait." He slurs drowsily, stopping Colin Robinson mid sentence. He wants to ask what's wrong. What he did. What he can do better. Instead, what he says is:

"Why are you so far away?"

Even with his glasses off in the dark, candlelit room he can see the energy vampire stiffen uncomfortably. He folds his hands in his lap, crossing his legs primly.

"I-I just thought it might be better for me to sit over here. What with your flailing limbs and all." He says unconvincingly.

Guillermo thinks he should apologize. Or ask if that's really the reason. Or say literally anything other than what inevitably comes out of his sleep deprived mouth.

"Can you come back? I miss you."

That probably crossed some sort of line. No, that definitely crossed a line. But it was the truth. He'd grown accustomed to Colin Robinson sitting ramrod straight at his side while he talked him into a deep slumber. It didn't feel right without him.

"Oh. Um. Okay." Colin Robinson says, before moving to sit just as uncomfortably on the edge of the mattress beside him. "Better?"

"Yeah. Better." Guillermo sighs, finally letting his eyes slide shut.

He's really too tired to consider the implications of this. All he knows is that he feels warm, and sleepy, and cared for, and before long, he's out like a light.

\-------------------------

Colin Robinson watches Guillermo sleep, stunned into speechlessness. He....he missed him? Oh dear. This was really getting out of hand, wasn't it? He knows he should probably stop it. Nip it in the bud. But here's the thing; he doesn't _want_ to.

Oh, he knows it's a bad idea, yes. He might not be immortal, per se, but his life span was still over double a human's, and unlike those nightwalkers, he couldn't share his "gifts". No, if he lets himself get any closer, he knows he's pretty much doomed to watch him grow old and die, just like his last set of roommates.

Guillermo stirs in his sleep, rolling over onto his side and letting out an undignified snort. Shit. He really is too cute for his own good. Colin gives him an awkard pat on the shoulder, before standing from the bed and putting an appropriate amount of distance between them again.

He slinks out of his basement bedroom, shutting the door behind him as quietly as he can. Normally he'd stay. Open up his laptop and annoy the masses of the internet while Guillermo caught up on sleep for the week. But that seemed inappropriate now, so he decides to go for a walk. Maybe misgender someone's dog at the park or something. He almost makes it out of the door, too.

"Colin Robinson! We are having a house meeting." Nandor calls from the fancy room, no doubt having heard him trying to slink out the front door unnoticed.

Weird. He's _never_ invited to those. Suspicion raised, he makes his way into the fancy room where his roomies are all already congregated. Nandor sits in his favorite chair looking terribly serious, a contrast to Laszlo and Nadja, who look quite bored. Laszlo sits upon Nadja's lap on the loveseat, the married couple clearly more interested in one another than in whatever nonsense Nandor has called them in here for this time. Colin Robinson can't rightly blame them. He sits in the chair in the corner, looking at them expectantly.

"Great! Now that we are all here, I'd like to get to the point of today's house meeting-"

"That's what we've been telling you to do this whole time." Nadja groans. Clearly they'd been waiting a while.

"It has come to my attention that some of you-" Nandor makes a point to glare in his direction. "Have been being inappropriate with my familiar. That is very rude! I will not tolerate familiar-poaching under my roof."

"Okay, why are you looking at me then?" Colin Robinson asks. "Those two order Guillermo around all the damn time. _I_ don't need a familiar. I can do my own daylight activities."

"The man has a point." Laszlo says. "We do take the lion's share of ordering Gizmo around."

"Yes, why did we have to wait all this time for Colin Robinson when you could've just told us you're bad at sharing!" Nadja piles on.

"I am not just talking about _borrowing_ Guillermo now and again." Nandor scowls "That is different. What I want to know is why _my_ familiar suddenly smells like ivory soap and printer ink, _Colin Robinson_!"

The emphasis Nandor puts on his name is harsh and accusatory. As though he's dramatically revealing some sort of huge scandal. Nadja and Laszlo do seem a little more interested now, but for his part, Colin Robinson is still unimpressed. He takes his glasses off to clean the lenses on his sweater.

"Well probably because he spends his days off napping in my bed." He says, voice thoroughly nonplussed.

Nandor sputters, clearly offended by the utter lack of shame in the admission. But really, though, what was there for him to be ashamed of? It's not like they were _doing_ anything. And even if they were, it really wouldn't be any of Nandor's business.

"Mystery solved. Crisis averted. Are we done here?" He asks the room.

"Wait no, hold on. Colin Robinson, what is Gizmo doing in _your_ bedroom?" Nadja asks, voice heavy with anticipation of some juicy little secret.

"I literally just told you. He's sleeping there."

"What, that's it? Just sleeping?" Laszlo sounds more than a little disappointed.

"Yeah. The little guy is so stressed he can't sleep, so on his days off, he comes down to the basement and I knock him out. Are we done here?"

"No! We are not 'done here'!" Nandor barks, standing up from his chair abruptly. "There is no good reason for you to be having my familiar in your bed!!"

Colin Robinson was a very patient predator, but he was not, however, a very patient man, and between his entitlement, his theatrics, and his unreasonable anger, Nandor had just about tapped him out.

"Yeah, I can think of a few good reasons, actually." Colin Robinson says, voice still level despite his mounting frustration. "You wanna start with the fact that the bed you provided him with has been sitting in that closet since Arnie died on the last one in 1850? Or how about the fact that it's not even really a "closet", but a space we've sectioned off with curtains? Or the fact that you've only been giving him _ice chips_ to eat?"

"Just what are you insinuating?" Nandor growls at him, eyes narrowed to glowing slits.

"You don't know how to take care of a human, and you're terrible to your familiars. And you know what?" He looks between the 3 other vampires, hands balled into fists on his knees. "You're terrible to me, too. You are a bad person, Nandor. And if you weren't, maybe Guillermo wouldn't be so g-damned miserable all the time."

Nandor hisses at him, fangs bared, eyes glowing, looking every bit the ferocious animal that he was. And Colin Robinson hisses right back, rising from his chair to meet the challenge. It's funny, really. They've lived in relative peace for the last 100 years or so, Colin Robinson just accepting the fact that his roommates tolerated him at best and brushing off any transgressions against his person. Heck, Nandor wasn't even the worst about bullying him. But things were different now. It wasn't just about him anymore. He had a friend to worry over now. A friend who didn't deserve to live his short little life the way he had for the last ten years. The way Colin had for the last two centuries.

Nandor lunges for him, and Colin Robinson is fully prepared to meet the warlord in the middle. He'd fight him tooth and nail, if he must, even though he was relatively terrible in physical altercations. But a pair of arms wrapped around his waist with lightning speed, holding him steadfastly in place.

"Easy! **EASY!** " Laszlo shouts, doing his very best to hold back the writhing energy vampire.

Colin Robinson walks himself back from fight or flight mode, but not before accidentally clocking Laszlo in the nose with his elbow. The other vampire keeps his hold on him anyway, the break quickly healing. Across the room from them, Nadja has Nandor held back by his topknot and his belt, shouting profanities at him. It would almost be funny if he weren't still so pissed.

"Calm down, chap. I admire the spirit, but Nandor will literally rip you to shreds." Laszlo reminds him, putting him back on the ground cautiously.

"CALM THE FUCK DOWN YOU STUPID JEALOUS DONKEY!!" Nadja shrieks. Each word is punctuated by a harsh tug to the man's hair.

"Ow OW OKAY ALREADY ENOUGH!"

Nandor jerks himself out of her grasp with a huff, tossing his cape around himself. He glares daggers at Colin Robinson, who glares right back.

"Mark my words, Colin Robinson, you lay one _finger_ on my Guillermo-"

"You don't _own_ him, dipshit."

"I think we should maybe all calm down a bit and talk about this like civilized people, what say ye?" Laszlo says, desperation creeping into his tone.

"Yes that is a very good idea!" Nadja joins, placing a hand on Nandor's shoulder as if to remind him that she's fully prepared to grab him again should he try anything.

He shrugs her off again, stomping out of the room. To drive home the point that he's really not going to talk about this- ever- he turns into a bat at the doorway and flutters out a second story window.

"Yeesh. Drama queen." Colin Robinson scowls, pushing himself out of Laszlo's arms and rolling his shoulders back.

"Uh, excuse me? Hello? Are you just going to walk away like that without explaining anything to us?!" Nadja asks incredulously, watching him shuffle his way towards the door.

"Yeah, pretty much." Colin Robinson shrugs. "I'd say it's been nice talking to you all again, but. Well. It hasn't. Bye."

"Unbelievable!! What is even going on in this house anymore?!" He hears her sigh from behind him.

Now that he can agree with- the frustration and the confusion at the whole world suddenly going topsy turvy on them. But it's not all bad, is it? I mean hey, at least they're paying him a little bit of mind. This is the most attention he's received in a while, and while it's not entirely positive, it is just a teensy bit exhilarating to be included in the plot of his own life.

\-------------------------

Nandor is the exact opposite in the following week. He spends it glued to Guillermo's side, hovering over him like a needy spectre. "Guillermo, hold my hand", "Guillermo, can you stay with me until I fall asleep?", "Guillermo, do you think I am a bad man?". He can't make sense of it. Or, at least, he _couldn't_ make sense of it. Not until Laszlo pulled him aside while he was dusting.

"I say, what is going on between yourself and Colin Robinson?" He asks in a hushed tone.

"Nothing." Guillermo says, trying not to think about what he'd said on Saturday and feeling himself blush over it anyway. "Why?"

"Come now, surely it's not _nothing_. That little guy was about to fight Nandor with his bare hands in order to defend your honor. Spirit like that doesn't come from _nothing_ "

"I-I'm sorry, _what?_ "

Guillermo was having a hard time processing what was being said to him. Colin Robinson? Ready to _fight Nandor_? Over _him_? Impossible. First of all, he wasn't worth fighting over. Secondly, Colin Robinson was the most nonconfrontational person he knew (at least, not the kind to pick a _fight_ ). And thirdly, he was too smart to do something like pick a fight with Nandor. Still, something like that might explain the sudden clinginess that had emerged in his master this week. God, his head hurt now.

"It's true! Had to hold him back myself. So are you two secret lovers?"

"No!" Guillermo felt like he was back in a high school locker room, save for the fact that no one had yet commented on his weight. "It's not like that. He's my friend, okay?"

".....with benefits?"

"My _regular_ friend."

Laszlo stared at him a moment, eyes narrowed skeptically. Guillermo feels like he's under some sort of inspection, and he definitely isn't passing it from the looks of things.

"Very well." He says slowly. "Keep your secrets. But I advise you to keep your man on a shorter leash, for everyone's peace of mind."

"He's not my-" Guillermo starts, but Laszlo is already walking in the opposite direction, waving him off with a manicured hand. "-man."

"Guillermo!!" Nandor's voice booms from down the hall, interrupting whatever train of thought had begun traversing Guillermo's mind. "Where are you hiding?! I want to watch that stupid movie you never shut up about!!"

"I'm coming, master."

\-------------------------

Moments later, he's perched on the bed in the blue room with his laptop open to "Interview with The Vampire." Usually he's all for watching his comfort film, but tonight he's somewhere else, thinking too hard on the last ten years. Nandor lays horizontally on the bed, his head in Guillermo's lap, dark hair fanning across his thighs. There's no magic in it anymore, but Guillermo combs his fingers through his hair anyway because it's something to do, and Nandor seems to like it alright. It's funny, really. He'd always fantasized about becoming Armand, and yet, after all these years of dealing with his own Brat Prince, he finds himself relating more to Louis every day.

"Something on your mind, Guillermo?" Nandor pipes up. "You are very quiet tonight."

"Not really. I'm just watching the movie." He lies.

"Yes. You like this picture." Nandor says, sounding very proud of himself for remembering.

"Yeah, I do." He assures, smiling down at him.

He has to admit that sometimes, in these silly little moments of intimacy, when Nandor makes an effort and it shows, the affection returns. It swells in his chest like a lead balloon, making him feel lighter than air and weighing him down with melancholy all the same. Maybe if there were more moments like these, it would make up for all the moments Nandor made him feel less than worthless. But there weren't, and he was so tired of waiting for them to come. Nandor makes it a full ten minutes more before speaking again.

"Guillermo?"

"Yes, master?"

"Are you going to leave me again?"

There's a quiet desperation in his voice that twists a knife in Guillermo's heart. A rogue little whisper of hope that he can't quite quell. He will admit, he thinks about leaving again from time to time, when Nandor carelessly trods over his feelings. He knows he's trying. He knows Nandor is doing his very best, because he's seen him when he's not and he's so much worse. With a sigh, he says:

"No, Nandor. I'm not leaving."

"Thank you, Guillermo."

He seems to settle into Guillermo's lap even more, heavy form sagging against him in relief. Guillermo tries to focus on the movie again, and tries not to think too hard on Louis being bound eternally to Lestat, following the Brat Prince through the ages, managing to leave him for a few decades only to come right back to his side.

\-------------------------

Guillermo finds him much earlier in the week than Colin Robinson is used to, cornering him in the hall in the hours of the morning before Colin Robinson goes to work and Guillermo finally goes to bed. Usually, the only time they bump into each other during these hours is when Colin is on his way to wake Nandor at the vampire equivalent of 4 in the morning, so he knows that the familiar must've been seeking him out.

"Hey, can I- can I talk to you for a minute?" Guillermo stutters out.

"Yeah sure. Kitchen? You look like you could use a cup of coffee."

The kitchen is ancient, and save for the fridge and the electric coffee pot, it hadn't been updated since the 19th century. He wastes no time in making use of the coffee pot, setting it up to brew while Guillermo takes a seat at the dusty little table.

"So, what's up?" Colin Robinson asks, rummaging through cabinets for a suitable coffee cup. He knows they have china somewhere in the house.

"What happened while I was asleep on Saturday?"

The coffee pot sputters as it brews, filling the room with its aroma. Colin Robinson tenses almost imperceptibly, as he pulls a floral coffee cup down from a cabinet. He suddenly feels quite silly about the whole thing.

"Nothing much. I went for a walk. Drained a few people. The usual. Do you take cream and sugar?"

"Yes please." Guillermo yawns. "Is that all?"

"Pretty much, yeah. Here, drink."

He slides the cup towards the tired little human, watching with fondness as he takes a sip. Guillermo makes a face, swallowing with great difficulty before gently setting the cup back on the table and pushing it away.

"That is...truly awful, I'm sorry." He winces

"Yeah, I don't actually know how to make coffee. I just do it because nothing pisses office workers off like bad coffee." Colin shrugs.

"Of course." Guillermo chuckles quietly.

Yes, this is a nice change of pace. All it took was a little distraction, and now he wouldn't have to explain-

"Laszlo says you picked a fight with Nandor."

"I did not 'pick a fight' with Nandor! _He_ hissed at _me_ first."

-Well shit.

"Okay, so, why- er..why would you do that, why would you take him on?" Guillermo stutters, fidgeting uncomfortably with the handle of his mug.

It wasn't as though he'd _meant_ to nearly brawl with his eldest and most dangerous roommate, he'd just gotten a little miffed is all. But one look at Guillermo tells him he may very well have stuck his nose where it didn't belong. He somehow feels even sillier now.

"I was just a bit fed up, I guess." Colin Robinson shrugs nonchalantly. "I didn't mean to get in between...whatever it is you have going on."

"There isn't anything going on between me and Nandor." Guillermo says just a bit too bitterly. There's a story there, and Colin Robinson almost pushes for it, but remembers that he's in trouble with his only friend and quickly shuts his mouth.

"Look, I uhm. I appreciate it, okay? Just don't do that anymore. You're my friend, and I don't want you getting hurt." Guillermo looks up at him, a flicker of concern in his tired eyes. It's funny, really. That had been Colin's only reason for fighting back in the first place- he didn't want his friend to be hurt.

"Yeah, okay. Sure thing, pal." He says, giving Guillermo a pat on the shoulder. Guillermo brings a hand up to cover his, holding it in place.

"Thanks, Colin." He says earnestly, warm brown eyes fixed upon him with genuine gratitude. He wasn't sure exactly what he was being thanked for- being a fool or promising not to let it happen again- but either way, his heart is hammering in his chest in an unfamiliar way. The last person to call him by _just_ his first name had been....

Oh, Christ on a cracker. He knows, now, what it is he feels when Guillermo thanks him. When he acknowledges him. When he calls him his "friend" without a hint of shame or irony. When he comes to him for comfort and falls asleep safe in his arms. He knows, and he's not sure he likes it. Colin Robinson pulls his hand back just a touch too roughly, fighting back the recoil at his own epiphany.

"Well, I better be getting to work. Breakfast _is_ the most important meal of the day, y'know." He excuses himself, making his way to the kitchen door at as brisk a walk he can manage without breaking into a jog.

"Oh okay. See you later, then. Have a good day." Guillermo's tired voice follows him, sending him well-wishes that he's never recieved that only serve to raise his pulse even higher.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to get this out!! I'm a slow writer to begin with, but then LIFE happened and slowed me down more :v


	3. Chapter 3

It was only a matter of time before the Council sent another assassin to wipe out the Staten Island coven, but sending one so close to sundown was unexpected. The sun had barely dipped below the horizon line when an unknown vampire slunk through the still-broken stained glass window. The assassin had surprised him, quickly taking the upper hand in the tussle that ensued. As he dodges teeth and claws like he was born to do it, Guillermo can't help but think about what might've happened had he not been dusting the many baubles in the fancy room. Nadja, Laszlo, and Nandor were all still sound asleep in their coffins. Peaceful. Vulnerable. Defenseless. The thought of Nandor- eyes wide with fear and betrayal, unable to scream as his throat was torn out, killed for a crime he'd never committed- propels him forward, drives him to plunge the end of the now-broken feather duster into the strange vampire's chest.

It's a direct hit. It always is.

Tears well up in his eyes as the corpse turns to ash, falling in a heap on the hall carpet. That was close. It was too close. The feather duster falls from his shaking hands as he sinks back against the railing.

"......Guillermo?"

He jumps, looking towards the voice and finding none other than Colin Robinson, freshly arrived from work, standing in the doorway, and looking as alarmed as Guillermo feels. Guillermo can feel himself shaking, can feel himself crying, and yet, it feels as though it's happening to someone else. Like it's a bad soap opera that he's watching with his Abuela.

"...I'll get the vaccuum."

Guillermo sits on the stairs while Colin shuffles to the hall closet, returning with an ancient vaccuum cleaner. He vaccuums up the vampire dust in silence, and for some reason, the only thing Guillermo can think is that one of those damn vampires can clean after all. Funny, the things that run through his mind when he's in shock. Colin Robinson returns the vaccuum to its hall closet and comes to sit beside him.

"That uh. That one looked close." He says shakily

Guillermo's head snaps towards him. Wait a goddamn minute.

"Y-you know?"

"Yeah, I know. I saw what you did to the Baron. Though, that was a stupid accident. This was... a bit of a surprise, however." Colin stops to remove his glasses, cleaning them on the hem of his sweater. "I didn't know you had it in you."

"I-I'm not trying to!! I'm not a violent guy, I swear, I just, I can't-" Guillermo's voice breaks. "I can't let anything happen to him."

And then, he's sobbing. Tears flowing freely down his face, steaming up his glasses, making it impossible to see. He feels trapped. Enclosed in this tiny prison of feelings and obligations he's been building over the years. And it was all his fault. He was the one who'd killed the Baron, who'd put them all in danger. He never should've left that Panera Bread.

Colin Robinson puts an awkward, uncomfortable hand on his shoulder. It's a poor attempt at comforting him, but it's an attempt, and that's more than he usually gets.

"It's okay. I won't tell anyone that you're a slayer. Please stop crying."

He wants to elaborate. To say that's not why he's crying. He knows Colin won't rat him out, he trusts him. He just doesn't trust himself. Not since he learned what he can do. Not since Carol. Not since he'd accidentally held a stake to Nandor's chest. He doesn't elaborate, he just cries harder.

"Guillermo?" A muffled cry comes from Nandor's crypt. "Are you there? The lid is stuck again!"

Guillermo takes a shuddering breath, wiping his tears on the sleeve of his sweater. It's only then that Colin Robinson withdraws his hand, folding both of them in his lap.

"Coming, Master!" He calls, voice surprisingly even.

"You'll probably be at that a while. Honestly, I don't know why he doesn't just get some wd40 for that thing" Colin Robinson says, standing.

"He's Nandor." Guillermo sighs.

He doesn't need to elaborate. They both already know. Guillermo realizes in that moment that Colin Robinson might be the _only_ one who could come within a mile of understanding the mess that his life has become- a thought that both worries and reassures him.

\-------------------------

Nandor is making an effort again. An even greater effort that Guillermo can imagine must really strain his inward focused pea brain. He holds Guillermo's hand just a little firmer as he's helped out of his coffin that night. Lets it linger just a touch too long. It's Thursday. Just one more night before his night off, and Guillermo can't help but think that has something to do with it.

He's still shaken from his close call earlier. He can still see the terror in Nandor's eyes from that awful vision that had assailed him. Perhaps that's why Guillermo doesn't fight so hard to regain their formal, professional relationship. Why he lets Nandor's hand slip into his again as the vampire rattles off his list of evening tasks for him. Most of the time, he can harden his heart, but when faced with the possibility of losing him, well...

"Guillermo? Are you listening to me?" Nandor snaps, bringing the familiar out of the fog.

"Huh? Oh, no, sorry. What were you saying?"

"I was _saying_ that tonight I would like you to change out the curtains in my crypt. They're too summer-y."

"Okay, Master. Did you have something in mind or-"

"I don't care, so long as they are seasonally appropriate. And Guillermo?"

"Yes, Master?"

"What are your plans for tomorrow evening?"

"Tomorrow is my night off." Guillermo says defensively. He'd worked too hard to get that to just let Nandor up and decide that he doesn't get to have it anymore.

"I know that!" Nandor matches his energy, before becoming suddenly very unsure of himself. Bashful, almost. "I was just thinking that maybe we could hang out or something."

"'Hang out'?" He repeats incredulously.

"Yes. You know, like friends? With the binge watching of the television and the sharing of the secrets? Hey! You could teach me how to play that game you like!! The one with the tiny metal men that shoot lemons and snakes?"

"Megaman?"

"Yes!! Mega men!"

Guillermo's head is pounding in his skull at the same rate his heart is hammering in his chest. Hang out? Really? As friends? That's the biggest heap of bullshit he's heard from the man yet. There were many words he'd use to describe his and Nandor's relationship, and "friends" was not in that lexicon.

"I don't think that's a good idea." He says as calmly as he can manage. If Nandor notices his discomfort, he doesn't say anything.

"Why not?"

"Oh you know. I-I just don't think it would be very good... for our professional lives if uh. If we saw each other outside...outside of this."

"So, you don't want to hang out with me?"

"It's not personal, Nandor-" except it was, very much personal. "It just wouldn't be very above board. Besides, I do, actually, have plans already."

"With Colin Robinson?" Nandor says with venom.

Ah. So this was it, huh? He _was_ jealous. Like he had any right to be. Guillermo sighs, fighting the urge to make some sort of outburst. It wouldn't be worth the effort.

"Yes." He says plainly.

"I see. Well, you and _Colin Robinson_ have fun on your little playdate." Nandor sneers, his facial expression and tone contradicting the well wishes in his words.

"I'm sure we will." Guillermo heard the subtext and steadfastly refused to acknowledge it.

"I will be here."

"Uh-huh?"

"In my crypt."

"Yeah."

" _Alone_. On a _Friday Night_."

"Sounds like a lovely night in. Do you need anything else done tonight, master?"

Nandor glares at him, clearly dissatisfied with the response his guilt trip is garnering. Guillermo simply looks up at him, deceptive naivite shining in his eyes, waiting for an answer to his question. Truth be told, it kinda felt good to get a rise out of Nandor like this. In a sick "He definitely shouldn't be enjoying this, but goodness the payback feels amazing" kinda way.

"....That will be all, Guillermo."

"Alright, master. I'll get those curtains changed out for you."

Nandor doesn't thank him this time, scowling and turning from him with a flourish. Guillermo is anything but surprised, and leaves him to pout over finally having to face some consequences for his actions. He has curtains to purchase, after all.

\-------------------------

Tomorrow afternoon, Guillermo sneaks into his room the way Colin Robinson is still surprised by even now. Every week he prepares for the inevitably that Guillermo will stand him up, and yet, every week the familiar comes shuffling through his door anyway. This week is no different. He prepares himself for the letdown, and is relieved by the sound of footsteps on the basement stairs.

"Hey there, Guillermo. I wasn't sure you'd be back."

Guillermo wastes no time in curling up on Colin Robinson's bed with a yawn. He nuzzles into the pillow before looking up at him with crooked glasses and tired eyes.

"Where else would I go?"

He doesn't have an answer to that, so he shrugs, moving from his chair to the bed. Last time he'd tried to stay in his chair hadn't gone to plan, so he figured it would be best not to repeat that experiment. He sits on the edge of the bed, poised like a parent about to tell a sleepy child a bedtime story, and begins dishing out office drama that his coworkers don't think he pays attention to.

"-and then there's the whole thing between Maryanne and Ben- who I call 'Balsamic Ben', not-"

"Not because he likes balsamic salad dressing, but because he likes the actor Martin Balsam. Go on." Guillermo mumbles drowsily

Was he....had he actually been paying attention to the things Colin says to him? No one did that. No one actually _listens_ to him. Colin Robinson took a deep breath to steady himself before continuing. There was nothing untoward going on. No reason to be nervous. Just a normal human being, ripe and ready to be drained of his energy.

"...right. Anyway, Maryanne and Ben- not to be confused with regular Ben- have been meeting in the storeroom at lunch. Which I mean, is interesting enough I suppose, a classic 'extramarital affair' sitch. But if you ask me, the _real_ drama brewing in the storeroom is the missing paperclips. You see-"

Just as he's getting back to a comfortable rythm, he's once again startled out of it by Guillermo wrapping a hand around his wrist, moving his hand to rest upon his head. He understands the prompt, of course, but his body stalled, paralyzed with combination of disbelief and anxiety. His hand rests there, completely still as he struggles to comprehend the situation he's been put in.

".....What are you doing?"

"Oh! I-er...I thought. Well, you do it sometimes, when you uh. When you think I'm asleep. It feels nice. I just thought...you know what never mind." Guillermo stutters out, scooching further away.

Great. As nerve wracking, anxiety inducing, and generally uncomfy as it was to experience a display of genuine interest towards him, it was somehow even worse to watch Guillermo crumble at the percieved rejection. Resigning himself to the discomfort, he followed the familiar, threading his fingers through his hair of his own accord this time.

"You uh. You don't have to do that if you don't want to." Guillermo clarifies, looking up at him.

"I'm aware."

"O-oh."

A few minutes pass in awkward silence as Colin Robinson continues to run his fingers through Guillermo's hair, pondering his next topic of conversation. He'd lost his train of thought in the multiple reboots he'd undergone in the last 5 minutes, and now he'd need some more material. Or...or perhaps he could take this a different direction?

"Uh, Colin? Are you sure you're alr-"

"Yeah, I'm good. Why do you stay here?" He blurts out. He'd always found asking permission to ask a question entirely redundant.

"I want to be a vampire, I guess."

"You 'guess'? That's stupid. You don't just casually make a lifelong commitment because you 'guess' you want to." Colin scoffs. "Unless you're a celebrity getting married."

"Well, it's obviously not going to happen, so what does that matter anyway."

Clearly he's struck some kind of nerve. He should probably apologize, he should definitely stop, and most importantly, he should stick to the routine. But he wasn't going to do any of that, because his curiosity far outweighed his sense of self preservation, and it felt so much better to no longer be the uncomfortable one.

"Right, so once again: Why do you stay here?"

Guillermo props himself up on one elbow, his hair completely mussed on one side, glasses removed, and he glares at him. Or, maybe he's just squinting. Hard to tell.

"What do you want me to say here?"

"Dude, I'm not gonna _script_ you. But if you're gonna lie again, pick a believable one this time."

"Nandor." Guillermo sighs, falling back onto the bed. "I stay because of Nandor."

Colin waits a beat before speaking, taking the information in. It's not news to him, the tension between Nandor and Guillermo had been palpable for a while now. But it was interesting to hear one of them finally admit to it. Interesting, and a little disheartening. 

"Well, that's stupid." He says decidedly.

"It's the truth!"

"Oh, I know it is. You're a shitty liar. But it's stupid. He treats you only _marginally_ better than he has his other familiars, and one of those guys was dead for 3 days before he noticed."

"I...I know that." Guillermo sighs, eyes fixed on the ceiling. "I know he treats me like shit, and I know I shouldn't just take it. I think about leaving _all the time_ , but..."

Oh. Oh no. He knows what Guillermo is going to say next, or at least, the way he feels about it. He knows it all too well. Colin Robinson tucks his knees to his chest and listens on, overcome with a sense of deja vu, looking at his argyle socks rather than at Guillermo.

"But it's not _always_ shitty! Nandor really tries sometimes! And when he does-"

"You remember why you fell in love with him in the first place. And you can't leave." He finishes his sentence, still focused on the pattern of his socks. He tended to wear a lot of argyle, didn't he? Perhaps he should change them sometime. Not that anyone would notice.

"....yeah." Guillermo sounds more intrigued than sad at this point. "Yeah exactly that."

They sit in silence for a few moments, the reality of the situation settling heavy on their shoulders. Colin Robinson is vaguely aware of Guillermo rifling through the blankets in search of his glasses, but his thoughts are elsewhere. Caught somewhere between a woman who awed him with her power and used that feeling to drain him half to death, and a tired young man who despite everything, still took the time to remember the things Colin said to him.

"So....are we gonna talk about that?" Guillermo asks, trying to straighten his hair a bit and only succeeding in tousling it more.

"No." Colin says stiffly, returning to his previous sitting position.

Between the other man's body language and his own knowledge of Nandor, it's easy to tell that shutting Guillermo down like that was probably a mistake. But what was he supposed to say when that was something that he avoided even acknowledging to himself, let alone burdening someone else with? He chooses his next words very carefully, not wanting to metaphorically slam Guillermo's fingers in a door that he himself had opened up.

"Not yet." He amends. It's a perfect solution, allowing him to continue denying he'd ever let someone close enough to hurt him without completely shutting out Guillermo

"Okay." Guillermo nods. There's an understanding in his voice, and the hurt behind his eyes has eased.

"So. Care to discuss the intro to German literature class I accidentally wandered into last month?"

"Actually, I think I'm going to get out of the house for a little while" Guillermo says, swinging his legs over the side of the bed.

"Oh. Okay. Well, have fun then." Colin responds, trying not to think of all the ways he miserably fucked up this week's social interaction.

"I'll try."

He waits until Guillermo is fully out the door and up the basement stairs to fall into his own bedsheets and scream into a lavender-scented pillow.

**Author's Note:**

> https://archiveofourown.org/works/26486668/chapters/64546567
> 
> Here you go!! Go show this author some love.


End file.
